Gary Swain driving Nirvana through the Gulf Stream. His defribulator from Guidant shows on his left side.

Gary Swain speaks from his heart
21 Jun, 04 - 14:47    
Well, when to begin, this has been a very special and meaningful trip so far. Obviously, we are in doubt of winning, but there is a great sense of accomplishment personally for myself.

Prior to this trip, roughly six weeks ago, I was inpatient at Massachusetts General Hospital on the Cardiac Transplant Unit getting my pre heart transplant workup. Tissue typing, chest cavity measurements, ultrasounds and all associated tests for my pending heart transplant. While actually lying in my hospital bed during a visit with Dr. William Dec, my transplant doctor, I asked him for permission to compete in the Newport to Bermuda Ocean Race. He looked at me with some disbelief. He said, he'll think about it.

When it comes to overall daily function, I do fairly well due to the fact that I have very high anaerobic threshold which compensates for lack of heart function. This has allowed me to live a relatively normal life despite having an implantable cardioverter defibrillator.

I guess I'm not your normal heart patient. I give my doctors a fit because I refuse to give in to my heart disease. I keep pushing and living life. This is very important for me as I'm not one to lay in bed and let life pass me by.

Obviously, sailing is very important to me. Whether it's one design racing, Antigua Sailing week, PHRF's or cruising, I'm not one to give up my life. I try and participate in these activities safely with regards to my own well being and the safety of the crews I sail with. I do not wish to put them in compromising positions as they are focused on winning and doing their best during these races. Thus, participating on Nirvana in this race is very special, not only for me, but for those awaiting transplants or those with implantable defibrillators. There are many watching me during this race and it is a great responsibility for me. I have to live up to those that have come before me and set examples that I think keep me going.

I received an email from a friend who is the Community Outreach Coordinator for the Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency. I met her last year when I gave a talk to about 600 people in Louisiana about living facing a heart transplant and living with an implantable defibrillator. I'll quote her email below.

"Hi Gary,
I see that you have not slowed down?good for you. You are an inspiration to many others who are4 awaiting transplant. Thank you for allowing the publi9c into you life and for encouraging donation with your story?we need more pro-active people like you?because it works. The consent rate in Louisiana is rising at incredible speed?I attribute that to community education?.of course, that's what I do.

Libbie Harrison
Community Outreach Coordinator
Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency
WWW.LOPA.ORG

As you can see, I have a great responsibility in this race?not only to do my best on the boat but to set an example to those who are living with Heart disease. Libbie's son Justin, age 16, went off to school on August 20, 1997 as any normal kid would do. He never came home that day. He fell off a parked truck, hit his head and was pronounced brain dead. His wish was to have his organs donated and his mother Libbie honored his request. Because of his conviction, 6 people who otherwise might be dead, now live an active and fulfilling life.

How can I live up to that? How can I even come close to the heroic contribution that this 16 year old made? My other mentor, Kelly Perkins whom I was introduced to by my cousin Michael Brown who is on this boat with me right now is another power of example. This young woman received a heart transplant 8 years ago and has gone on to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, Mount Fuji and recently, the Matterhorn. I am in awe of her and what she has gone to do in the name of organ donation. She follows my adventures and is an inspiration for myself and others. I hope I can contribute a fraction of what she has done.

Participating in this race is not only for me, but those patients at MGH who expect a full report as they live through me right now. What a heavy burden to carry.

The ocean is in my blood. I have competed in so many races, that I can't remember them all. This is the first time competing in the Newport to Bermuda Race and I find great personal satisfaction in this. The last time I was in the Gulf Stream, was in 1989 aboard the Hannah Boden when I was sword fishing on the Grand Banks. What a feeling to be back out here again. To look up at the stars so bright you can read a book by them. To see the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises on earth?if only the rest of the world could see what I have seen over the past couple of days. I only whish Justin Harrison could see them. Maybe he has as he watches over those he saved as he sits above us with the angles. If I can only do a fraction of what Kelly Perkins does to contribute to saving lives and making hero's of those who give their lives to save others.

Yes, this is a two part race for me. Personal because of my love of the sea and the sense of competition and more importantly, to set an example to those who are in the same boat as me so to speak.

My Sweetheart, Jo Jo who has just beaten Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the past 2 years also is an example for me. She has allowed me to face my disease without fear knowing that if I were not to survive this, as long as I have made a difference and have helped others to live a better and more productive life, then I have lived a full and productive life and have nothing to fear in my own death. With God's help, I will make a difference and I hope that competing in this race helps at least one person.

I need to thank the owner and crew of Nirvana for allowing me to join them. I need to thank my cousin Michael Brown for documenting my adventures so there is a record for those who suffer my same fate. Most importantly, I have to thank the Justin Harrison's of this world for having the courage to give of themselves to save the lives of others and people like his mother Libbie who carry his torch so that he is not forgotten.

I'll see everyone at the finish line and see what adventure will come next.

Gary M. Swain
Crew, Yacht Nirvana
USA32323